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the-absolute-funniest-posts:

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killself:

my teacher makes students sing to the class if their phone beeps

I should do this!

killself:

my teacher makes students sing to the class if their phone beeps

I should do this!

the-absolute-funniest-posts:

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

Aww, Facebook.
the-absolute-funniest-posts:

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

Awesome McDs sign

An old Italian gentleman lived alone in New  Jersey .  He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.  His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: 
 Dear Vincent,  I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.  Love,  Papa   
A few days later he received a letter from his son.  
Dear Papa,   Don’t dig up that garden. That’ s where the bodies are buried.  Love,  Vinnie 
At 4 a.m. The next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.  That same day the old man received another letter from his son.   
Dear Papa,  Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.  That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.  Love you, Vinnie

An old Italian gentleman lived alone in New  Jersey .  He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.  His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament: 

 Dear Vincent,  I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.  Love,  Papa  

A few days later he received a letter from his son

Dear Papa,   Don’t dig up that garden. That’ s where the bodies are buried.  Love,  Vinnie

At 4 a.m. The next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.  That same day the old man received another letter from his son.  

Dear Papa,  Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now.  That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.  Love you, Vinnie

(Source: catalogosphere)

nerdycommunity:

My exact face

(Source: precumming)

randomlancila:

One of my followers, bigmamalebanon, had weight loss surgery and lived to tell the tale.

She asked if she could submit her story to me to hopefully help people understand that bariatric surgery isn’t the miracle cure or the success story that so many like to believe. And…

Weight loss surgery is NOT a magic bullet. Anyone can lose it if they have the willpower.

sieda666:

Ba dum tis!

The real joke here is Oklahoma.

Which of the following is not a person? Re: Oklahoma Personhood Law

(Source: catbushandludicrous)

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